so much masterchef
Someone told me that the way we ring in the new year sets the tone for the year.
Do I believe that? I don't know. It's fun to think about though.
I started a coding tutorial on nye, and finished it on the first.
Most of the day on the 31st, I did laundry. Like, so much laundry. In general, I've been doing a lot of laundry this year. It's at least in part because of the in-unit (and easily accessible) set up.
Grad school is on my mind. I haven't moved the needle on it, and the where question is haunting me. Maybe because it's something I can't control. Something I'll have to manage logistically.
And, I'm watching Masterchef again. Australia S16, ep44.
NYE is always, like. a lot of pressure. I've spent a lot of them anxious about plans, about FOMO, spending it alone. I realized this year, I've become confident in the way I want to spend my time. ...which is a complicated sentence.
Montreal is a silly city. It is dark and gritty in ways you don't always expect. It is bright too, and has pockets of friendships and community. People are deep in their shit, and the stairs up to apartments feel so fucking precarious in the icy winters. And so. ok.
I wanted to meet up with my friend S. at Champs (iconic, divey lesbian-coded bar). F. came with, I went to theirs and we walked the 20 minutes over under the big trees of Jean Mance. A spring chill.
We played pool, badly, twice. It was really fun. !!! I think F. enjoyed themselves, and they weren't expecting to be there. We had a few push and pulls, a friend who was feeling low, a partner playing a show, a friend in the bar to chat up. We split up after.
I decided to go check in on the friend. The bus was very late, and when all the other people at the stop disspeared, I took a cab up near Jarry. Checked in, they were good. Just not down to host the ny sleepover thing they meant to.
I went over to Systeme. I had planned to spend my new years dancing on the dimly lit dance floor. The crowd looked fantastic, 20 minutes to midnight. The ticket sales had ended, and it said there would be tickets at the door. But they were at full capacity. Bummer. And then.
S. met me there and they live around the corner. So we went up the stairs and watched Masterchef. Like, just chatty n sweet through the new year. V lucky we are friends.
Going home at 3am, I realized how sober I was. I hadn't even left with my Cdrink. I wasn't feeling alone or down. Just, awake. In it. Happy. Like, stable.
The day after felt harder. Sleep, code, food prep, calls with friends, so much tv, and this big blank block of time.
I considered going up to the studio to put together this soldering kit I've put off. I hate desoldering mistakes, lol. But the cold, its so cold.
I'm keeping it chill. Letting myself go so, so slow. Even, letting myself feel bored. Or dissappointed, or whatever.
I did draft the contract for the new gig. I was already dreaming of taking a little trip to Mexico, but I think it would feel really good to just pay off the whole card and then really enjoy a trip out somewhere. Like, go for a few days. Maybe multiple countries, or cities or whatever.
If the 31st and 1st had any indications, I think this year might be hearth forward. Lots of cooking, laundry, cleaning. Friends, coding, slow moving.
Some things I am hoping to cook in the next little while:
- Silkie Chicken, TCM style soup
- Okra, recreating some childhood flavors
- Spinach, more anti-inflammatory foods
Maybe also,
- Tamarind chutney
- Banana Blossoms, also something I loved eating as a kid. Mocha!!!
- Prawn-based fried rice, like in this video
Some spells I'm keeping close to heart.
Money comes, and money goes, I know. But Dinero, Dinero, Dinero baby. Get yours.
Medicine 4 u, medicine 4 me. A balanced body, a balanced spine, balanced hormones and a balanced mind.
Everything in its place. Build a home you can live in.
I've caught myself looking over at my room, and noticing how I can live however I want. I don't really know how to do that, like it takes a lot to be comfortable. But its a good start. Even if its taking a fucking while.
On Friday, I want to try and catch the last screening of Paprika at Cinema Moderne. And at some point, do some emails, some proposals, n ofc -- grad apps.
Dance thru it bb.
<3
Happy New Year. Bon Annee.