People take practice
I joined a collective studio in Mtl as soon as I found one I liked. The address is a secret, but it's a lot of QTs and BIPOC folks. There's a riso there, which I've been wanting to mess with forever (but still haven't). I usually go once a week to socialize and make friends. Often, it's also where I sneak up on folks with more experience in tech skills and ask for support with things I want to learn. Very grateful, very cute.
I've been hosting a webJam for the last two? three? months. A place to make handmade websites and learn from each other. But turn out has been low and it has me questioning things.
Programming -- communal events and organizing -- they're a wierdly big part of how I function as an art person, but also as a homebody person. Very similar to my party hack: Bring tarot, set up at a spot, chat when folks come by.
Community programming has also been my job in one way or another for about -- 6? 7? years now? I actually had a dream last night that I was back at the library and had to wake up at 7 to get to a community branch, where we realized I no longer worked at the library system because I quit months ago.
The rest of the dream was about trying to flag down the correct buses and cars and trains to get home. The setting seemed to be a university, but with a lot of highways. I think I've been there before, this setting. Mmm, probably gotta bring it up with my friend who is into dream analysis. Something about institutions, ambitions, a longing for home / belonging.
Anyway. Practical matters.
The day has just begun, but it's already been derailed. My plan was to visit a coworker at their art studio (unrelated to work), to share cake I made + know them more. But their plans changed, so my plans changed, and now I'm sitting on the couch and figuring things out.
WebJam. I think I take it a bit personally when there is low attendance for something I'm putting on. It's also that I'm organizing in a new city and there's a lack of folks I know personally who are into this. I'm thinking this is a sign to reevaluate intentions and hopes.
I want to meet other people making similar things, I think.
Moving to Mtl, art-wise, has been about being around a bigger creative pool of people and opportunities. To not feel like I'm talking to myself all the time. Which is working, its just... slow.
I'm going to make some milk and granola happen. Lay out the laundry that feels wet, still. Text a friend, re-evaluate what needs doing.
Nothing is easy. Everything is annoying. I should pick up a copy of Kafka so I feel less alone and more strange and interesting. Except I am strange and interesting, even if its only because of social anxiety, trauma and that $$ pending autism diagnosis.
People take practice, that's all.
☾⋆⁺₊✧
Some good news came in last night. Presenting A Website that is also a Zine at Mtl Tech Convergence in two weeks.
Yay, I get to do a workshop (wow I miss running things) AND be around other tech folks who are thinking/making beyond giant systems. + I know some studio pals n acquantainces who will already be there, so it'll be easier to meet more folks and maybe learn cool stuff.
It's been tricky getting gigs in a new city, so I'm really thrilled. !!! Getting to share cool code!!!