Hanging in there
I finally biked down to the studio to grab some corvid tests.
The one electric bixi1 was not budging, so I was on a regular. And it only took a little bit of effort.
A week or two ago, I went outside for a rave with studio friends (although, more in the aquaintances stage). Some folks were anxious about crowds, and when they took a test at home the next day -- ta-da, corvid. I've been lowkey isolating since then, and while I was able to get masks, paying $20 for tests felt not the move. Esp. when we have ones at the studio for free. But anyway.
Got the test. Testing negative.
Which means, I get to go outside this evening.
Got into a baby game dev program that meets once a week, so I am looking forward to going. It is a long way across town though, so. Fingers crossed for things to align.
Wanna write about academic vs non-academic experiences I've had at some point2. The pros, cons, pitfalls etc. I guess I've been on the organizing side of it too.
The cold has started. Fall weather? Stay in bed weather.
Went to bed at 4am (couldn't sleep)and woke up at 2pm. Clearly, I enjoy day-time lifestyles at the moment -- partly because of the creaky apartment and roommates. It also helps the cat, who seems to prefer stricter routines.
Gently thinking through it. How can I support myself to transition into day time, and continue being a day-time person?
Art Stuff
I am working on a few residency applications. My intentions aren't as noble as I'd like. I would like some monies, and being able to body double within the structure of it.
What would noble intentions look like? Hmm. One where I was simply interested in making things and exploring ideas, prototyping, etc. As opposed to 'please, this cheque would be really rad'. I guess the money thing feels icky and disingenious. And. The more I think about it, the less I understand the systems around art in research/academia/in general.
I like ecologies. Ecological thinking2. And this one feels unclear. Or, when it is clear, it feels illogical. Conceptually not-tight. Less of a terrarium and more of messed-up garden patch.
Was reading Wendy's Revenge, by Walter Scott. I've read the MFA one too, which comes right after. It's a mockumentary of sorts, of contemporary art and artists. Since I'm going through it with the whole why do i do this anyway thing -- It was both fun and funny AND oof.
Mind too soupy to write down why, maybe later.
Writing applications is fun though. I feel like I do some of my best writing there. Here's an exerpt form one of my drafts:
Q. What role does collaboration play in your practice? How do you like to share ideas with other people?
Collaboration has been very important to me. A lot of my making has been community-based. I create little containers for folks to talk/draw/play/make about topics and then I turn the ‘data’ into an installation, a zine, an interactive world. In the past, I have been supported by folks with more skills than me in digital realms. Which have led to my current conditions, where I increasingly work with hardware/software interactions. I like to start by mapping out feelings, thoughts, references and journaling. And then mind map them to share with collaborators. I love sharing references and chatting through things. In general, a lot of play, a lot of ‘how to make this more intimate? how to make it playful?’. Big on making sure context, content and containers work together critically. For example: A website about learning to make software - written in an anecdotal and personal writing style - can be printed into a zine from the browser. And of course, the code can be shared for others wanting to make something similar. Open Source <3 Access to Information <3 Sharing is important, with collaborators seen and unseen, past and present and future.
Oh, something to try. Maybe I build an 'application' outline for myself to fill in. So I can make get some writing done for in-progress projects.
Work, Work-like n Web Dev
Site is migrated to wordpress!!!
I did find a couple of bugs though. It's the way certain things were nested. Essentially, the html structure needs a wee update, so stylings can be applied better, across the site.
Had a slightly intense meeting at studio. Did I tell you I'm events chair?
Not a biggie, but felt a bit activated. Have emails to send still, for folks who want to host things in the space. Funny moment after though.
L. asked if I would make a poster for their DJ event --> I had a teeny rant about how I wanted to be an illustrator for a thousand years and it took way too much out of me. --> asked if I could make them a website. --> we started talking about neocities.
✦ talked thorugh how I want to do a show and tell event. as a place to meet folks and talk about what we are up to.
Also a sweet moment of connection/understanding with E, who made the studio happen, but I've been feeling like I don't know them very well. A discord notification this morning, they mentioned the soap was refilled in the WC. Lol. Like I said, I'm a hater. So its nice when things change + makes me feel heard, and cared for.
Thinking about properly reading through Sarah Ahmed's the promise of happiness. Notes and all.
Other
Caved and ordered skincare. And Storage -- trying to figure out if DIY for ? amount of money OR unaesthetic plastic shelving at 1/3 of ikea OR the ikea shelving I really want, and would hopefully fit things the way I want. Hoping to find an organizational system that works for my brain (so everything is labelled and I don't have to think), but also juggles all of my clutter, studio items/equipment, etc.
Also, still need to apply for 'real' jobs. Clean the fridge again (finally figured out where my tupperwares went3), and the LifeAdmin bureaucratic stuff.
Did get around to texting a few people back. Need to do a few more, now that I'm officially not corvid. Did realize the trajectory of mental health -- I'm doing really well actually, even if it doesn't feel like it.
Grateful for kinopio. Really glad I was able to get it through my ex-work. Super duper works with my brain, i.e. short sentences, mind mapped with links.
Hanging in there, Hanging in there, Hanging in there!!!!